Blood-Huntress

2022-09-21

Greetings..

Hope that all of you are well? I've been up and down... well.... since last I updated my Journal... DeviantART changed so much that I don't even want to do Journals anymore, as I can't do Journals like I use to do.. Using HTML Format.. ..It's now extremely confusing and frustrating!

Anyhow... I first off want to thank the anonymous person that gave me a Month Core Membership... Thank you so much! I have a hunch that this came to pass to a comment I made on a Journal regarding Customizing your profile... I tried to customize my profile now, because of this Month Core Membership I've been so generously been Gifted... But do you think that I can figure out how to customize my profile? Huh uh...

You can read that Journal here: Profile Showcase: Up Close and Personalized

...which I commented the following there:

"This is great and all... But there are people who simply can't afford to buy the Core Membership, and have to stay on their old boring profiles.. It's not like you can spurts up your profile too, to make it a bit more pleasing to the eye on the free membership... In my country, with our current financial state and how things are, you can't dare buy things that are out of your budget when you barely get by in a month, due to every single thing being expensive and getting even more expensive as the months and years go by... Money doesn't have the same value across the world... As an example, where something is extremely cheap in America, for that same thing, you will pay an arm and a leg.... Even maybe have to sell some of your organs too to afford to buy stuff other people can buy for much cheaper in another country.. Not everyone has that privilege to not worry about the day of tomorrow and about their financial status or situation. So yeah... This all looks extremely nice! It all looks extremely inspiring.... But in the long haul, it's just not affordable for everyone.. So we who can't afford Core Memberships, are stuck with uninteresting and non visual pleasing profiles.. "

..I am still very grateful! I just need to figure out how to use it before the membership ends! Lol

Ok.. jokes aside.. I have been doing okay under circumstances... I've had Covid last year, which they took me up in hospital against my wishes, on the 30th of August 2021.. I could barely walk nor stand.. they had to push me around in a wheelchair.. My mother said no, that I will stay in hospital... the doctor also told us that if I went home, then I would most likely only survive on my own for so 2 or 3 days, as I'm Asthmatic...he said that I'll need oxygen.. that's the first thing he did when he saw me... before they rolled me into his office, he stopped them in his door and said, "Off you go to radiology! I want X-rays of your lungs!" as he knows me. He use to work as a private doctor, at a private doctor's office.. He's now working at a state hospital. And yes, as I don't have medical aid, I had to go to a state hospital... much to my dismay...

.. so I were in Hospital for 10 days .. and those entire 10 days that I were in hospital, not once did they put me on oxygen.. I were the only one in that isolation ward that didn't need to lay on oxygen.. ..they took my oxygen levels every 4 to 5 hours, and it where perfectly normal! Everyone around me however were all on oxygen and gasping for air..

So yeah... Covid itself weren't bad... it's what came after I had Covid... As I mentioned, I have Asthma, coupled with Chronic Bronchitis... I've had as a kid moderate to severe Asthma and the older I got, it went to light Asthma attacks to moderate Asthma attacks... I recently got them very lightly when I did get them.. then I got Covid and now I'm back to square one... I'm back to moderate to severe Asthma attacks! And they are frequent now! The first time I had a massive Asthma Attack were the first week I were back at work... I were completely out of breath, gasping for air... lips turning blue.. everyone hovered around me at work, with concern on their faces, some even panicking, as they've never seen me like that before .. Little did I knew at the time that it were an Asthma attack, as I haven't had such attacks in years!

Got home, still out of breath and praying for breath, got on the phone and phoned the doctor.. And while I'm waiting for her to answer the phone, I came to the stark realization that it in fact is a massive Asthma attack I've been having the entire afternoon .. Now you have to understand something... I no longer get Asthma medication, as I were taken off my dad's Medical Aid when I turned 21.. I'm now 34... So it's a long long time since I've gotten new refills and such.. That which I had left, I used very sparingly.... the ones I still had which I used on occasion all of them expired already in 2007 and the other one in 2008... I have 2 inhalers.. one being Ventolin and the other being Inflammide... The Nebulizer medication I no longer use either, which they gave me back in 2006 of April that year..

I'm very avid about Asthma medication...I do not want to use it! Reason being, since I have Chronic Bronchitis, when ever I use my Asthma medication, then the mucus and slime and shit in my lungs become even more thick and more difficult to cough up. And the doctors fight with me about this shit, but that's what I've experienced... I avoid Asthma medication like the pest.. I will rather try to ride out the attack.. If it does so happens that I can no longer hold out and it doesn't get better, and that the attack gets worse, then yes, then I will use it.. but other wise... NO! Another reason I don't want to use it, is I don't want to be dependent on Asthma medication, having to grab for it with each and every attack...

So eventually the doctor answered her phone... I asked her very concerned, if you had Covid and you have Asthma, will your Asthma become worse? As I didn't realize it earlier in the afternoon, as it got worse and worse, that it were an Asthma attack.. "Yes" she told me.. I told her, but I have a dilemma now.. I told her of the inhalers and that I'm using expired inhalers for that fact, which she told me to not use expired medication... yes... I know... I should not use expired medication, but I do, and I haven't died of it yet.. medication is expensive! I believe in using them up first before buying new ones... Long story short, she told me to come in the next day that she can have a look at me, bring the inhalers with, that she can give me a prescription for new ones. So I did so. AND GOOD I DID SO TOO! Even though my inhalers still did their job, the Inflammide were finished! I used it still after she gave me a new prescription, as the pharmacy didn't keep them in stock, they had to specially order it for me. Inflammide were also taken off the market.. you no longer get it...

She gave me something else in it's place. She also gave me Topaz, to help relax the lungs, as I struggle to get through the day, each and every single day .. She also gave me new medication for the Nebulizer .. 2 different liquids I have to pour into it... She gave me a six month prescription, which I stopped and didn't renew after the first prescription were done... I DID NOT REALIZE THAT ASTHMA MEDICATION WERE SO EXPENSIVE!!! With all my Chronic Medication and the new added Asthma Medication I were receiving in addition, I had to use my entire salary, just like that to pay for it all.. there were no money left after I paid my Pharmacy bill. I kicked square against renewing any Asthma stuff.. and I anyway still don't use my Asthma medication as it were prescribed.. I only use it when I can't take it anymore, and yeah... I still have stock for 5 more months in advance.. which probably will expire too..

That also said and done, my Asthma is so bad, I can't walk from my bed to the toilet and back without gasping for air.. I can't go into stores anymore, I can basically do nothing... She told me that I'm going to walk like this for a very very long time...that I should keep myself still, have patience, and not get angry.. well, it's frustrating and I do get angry for not being able to do anything or that which I could use to do anymore.. Every single thing I didn't worry about in the past, now triggers an Asthma attack.. I see the triggers EVERYWHERE now..

Enough about that now... I have been drawing on and off, but I don't know what I did with all my drawings and sketches and illustrations.. I wanted to scan them in... couldn't find them.. Switched my computer on after how many months of not being on... and discovered that I can't get my Scanner on.. on top of that, both me and my mom lost our jobs in April of this year. I've been mostly sick in bed due to this Asthma shit.. my immune system have been very compromised since I had Covid.. So I just start to get well, then I get sick from the start again.. and so it's been going this entire year.

My dad gave me a Mecer Notebook for my birthday that's still to come in December and as a Christmas present, for both this year and next year. I'm relatively happy with the notebook, but only thing that gets me, is that it has 128GB internal storage. Also, they didn't give me the product key for my Windows included on this device. It's activated and all.. but MS Office asked me for a product key to activate it. I still want to bite off the Network Provider my dad took the contract on at, for giving us a device without it's Product Key.

I can't install Photoshop on this thing, as Photoshop is very memory intensive, and besides that, this device doesn't have a Graphics Card in. Photoshop I use, requires one. So I installed Autodesk Sketchbook for Windows on this device. I started off with a drawing, which I've been recording the progress, but we currently have Loadshedding problems.. We are currently on Loadshedding Stage 5.. Over the past weekend, we were on Stage 6. Which means that you sit without electricity for a bit longer than 10 hours at a time. Each time we have our turn for Loadshedding, and the power eventually does come on, then the bloody internet doesn't want to work! I've been fighting with Vodacom since last week .. We have a Wi-Fi router that has 2 connections.. one is a 5G connection, and the other one is a 2.4G connection. The 5G connections works fine on our phones.. but on the Smart TV, this Notebook, and my 2 old Android Tablets, only the 2.4G option is available to select and choose from. You can't use the 5G option on them... the 2.4G connection is more offline and does not have internet connection than anything else.. It's extremely frustrating!

So yeah.. I have made several posts on YouTube of these recordings.. I don't know how to stream, neither do I know how to record on a PC or Notebook.. I discovered Vimeo.. It allows me to record through my web browser.. but for that I need an internet connection. I don't have music on this device either due to it's small memory. So I'm streaming music to listen to while I draw.

And if anyone is interested to see my progress so far, you can see them all here:

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 1

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 2

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 3

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 4

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 5

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 6

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 7

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 8

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 9

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 10

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 11

Forlorn Drawing - Autodesk Sketchbook Windows 11 2022-09-09 Part 12

Um...and I guess that's all news I have for now.. My brother helped me fix my computer, but I haven't had the chance to really work on it, as I don't want to dare plug it in with this Loadshedding.. Hopefully it would end soon.. then I can try and do recordings in Photoshop, as many have asked me how I do my drawings.. That's why I've been recording in Sketchbook.

I apologise for the very very VERY long Journal Update, but yes..

That is all for now.. I'll hopefully start to be more active here on DeviantART. I have been here, but on mobile version. And mobile version to tell the truth is actually a bit shitty to use..

Until later then!